Edible, but at what cost ?

Regular visitors to this site (we know who you are, though your motivation is unclear) will be familiar with MyMateMatt as an occasional but welcome presence on these pages.

While in Whitelocks the other evening, he introduced me to a whole new sensation. I think it is my duty to alert the wider public (not much wider, given our limited readership, but one does one's best) to the risks inherent in taking Strange Substances offered by Apparently Generous Benefactors in Public Places without first conducting Suitable Research.

"Look at this, Johnny", he says, wielding a round brown thing. Now then, I actually know this one. "It's a plate," I respond, with some confidence. "Ahhhh - but what sort of plate ? " "Ummmm - a brown one ?" "No - it's bio-degradable. Made from reconstituted potato. You can EAT it !".

So saying he, took a sizeable bite out of the edge of it. As it seemed rude not to, I had a go as well.

This continued until the whole thing was reduced to the shard shown above, and we went home, contented with a job well done.

Dear reader, not only were we both subject to severe gastric pressures for the next 12 hours, but it surely can be no coincidence that the following day the waste pipe from my house was entirely blocked, and for 36 challenging hours the lavatorial facilities were out of action until, bless him, the DRAIN DOCTOR (TM) blasted them clear.

(Matt does not hold with my theory - he has lingering suspicions about the quantity of beer we washed it down with, but to my mind the adhesive holding the potato bits together is the prime suspect).

In the prophetic words of Hilaire Belloc :

"..Oh my friends, be warned by me

That breakfast, dinner, lunch and tea

are all the Human Frame requires...

With that the Wretched Child expires."

Here endeth the lesson.